Crushing Memories: A Small Excerpt by Ananya Maram

 CRUSHING MEMORIES

A small excerpt by Ananya Maram

Everything came at me like a wrecking ball. I didn’t feel my surroundings as I only focused on the one sentence from the one person I trusted my whole life with. Nothing made sense. I felt like the walls were crushing in on me, and I couldn’t breathe as my vision was blurry with tears. Once I had the courage, I let them drip, I let them run down my face, forming a pool near my feet. The pool became bigger and bigger until it was a river, a river flowing with the powerful emotions my body was experiencing as I struggled to make sentences, even as my brain exploded with words and bursts. My heart was thumping loudly, overcoming any other emotion, soon becoming the one sound that my brain focused on and on and on. 

Faded memories ran through my broken brain, and I clutched my head and screamed, letting all the anger and fear cascade to the open air. I couldn’t focus on anybody else, all the hatred and the life lessons. Letting each one of the people I called friends slowly showed their true colors as they sided with my world, my life. My tears were becoming stronger and stronger, filling my shattered heart with new and undiscovered cracks that soon became too strong for my mind to handle. That’s when I concluded no person I truly felt close to and had my trust. Not one person. 

My world was destroyed, the people I had trusted my entire life’s story had come out, showing their true selves after sticking by my side. It was obvious, after the first sentence from my world, my one and only. I clasped my fingers around a glass vase in my room and threw it across the room, throwing my emotions aside as I didn’t believe in them anymore. All the emotion slowly started to drain as I began to turn into a wrecking ball myself as my body hungrily searched for its next victim.

Once it was done, my tears had dried up and my eyes were red and puffy. I didn’t care, they reminded me of the pain that I was blamed upon, for situations I hadn’t even started. My mind winded up again as my fingers curled into fists once more and smashed the walls. I watched as my knuckles turned strawberry red, and my eyes turned dark red. Every smash flashed a small memory of my fake friends and it made me use more power to smash holes. I didn’t give two shits, but it was time. 

I flipped through photos of each one of them, and their happy faces made my blood boil. I threw my phone out the window, and hearing it break was the best feeling ever. Checking the time, I snuck downstairs to grab my pocket knife on the counter. Running my fingers down the glistening metal, I clutched it with my might and ran the blade through the skin on my wrists. The searing pain flashed through my nerves yet I kept on slashing, feeling the white lights flickering off and on. Every slash made me think of the fake people I had no connection to, the people who had no trust in me, their best friend. 

As the anger eased, I threw the knife away and I felt my head spinning. My blood pooled around my wrists and began seeping and staining the whole bed around me. With a big smile on my face I heard the door crack open before I let the darkness engulf me.